“Teach Us How To Pray”
Preached Sunday, July 21, 2022
“Teach Us How To Pray”
The question the disciples asked Jesus is one that has been asked over and over again through the centuries. “Teach us how to pray.” Much ink has been spilled over this question - who here has heard a sermon or read a book or was taught by a Sunday school teacher or done a Bible study on HOW to pray? Show of hands?
Now - how many of you have found some of the answers to that question helpful? Hands? Yeah, I have found some helpful. Now, how many have found some of the answers to this question to be downright unhelpful or even shame-inducing or harmful? I’ll keep my hand raised for that one too.
“Teach us how to pray.”
To ask this is very human of us. We want to talk to God - not only talk to God but talk in the best possible way. Whether to properly honor God or to ensure our prayers are answered or heard. I get the sense that sometimes we think that if we just had the right words, put them in the right order, asked the right way, had the right formula - then our prayers would be heard. That our prayers would be answered. And answered exactly how we want them answered.
The problem with this - and hear me out - is that there is no secret formula to prayer. There is no universal right away that will suddenly transcend our prayer time to that next level - or make God our own personal genie. Ask and you shall receive. But a lot of the answers to “teach us how to pray” do just this - try to give us the secret formula to make our prayers quote on quote “work.” And when they DON’T work like we want them to, we feel shame that we must be doing something wrong. Or maybe God doesn’t love us enough. Maybe we aren’t good enough.
This is wrong. And a tragedy. I have sat next to the beds of sick and dying people who have wondered, “Did I not want it enough? Did I not pray enough or not pray the right way? If I had prayed more earnestly, more faithfully, would I be cured?” And this thought process is the same for many people in many different scenarios. For women struggling with infertility, for high schoolers who didn’t get into the college of their choice, for couples whose marriages are falling apart…if only I had prayed more, prayed more faithfully, prayed in this way…my prayers would have been answered, would have worked…But that’s not how prayer works.
So too the formulas that are given for prayer can also cause shame or even a fear of praying wrong. When I was a young child I was taught a formula in Sunday School class. I can’t remember the teacher or the day or what the exact formula was or what was said. And there is a good chance that my young brain misheard or misunderstood. But for years in my childhood and beyond, I developed a fear that if I didn’t pray RIGHT then my prayers wouldn’t be heard. What I heard as a young kid was that if I didn’t ask for forgiveness for my sins BEFORE praying for intercessions then God would not hear my prayers. And this is just wrong. But as a child I got this image of a God who would turn a deaf ear to me if I didn’t first apologize for every wrong. The issue was, I was a kid. I barely knew or understood sin. And I was so worried that I would sin and not remember before I could ask for forgiveness. Or sin and not know that I had sinned and therefore couldn’t ask for forgiveness. And then when I really needed God or really needed my prayers answered, God would ignore me.
And now, decades later and as a theologically trained pastor, I know how ridiculous that sounds and I have such pity and kindness toward my childhood self, toward that inner child that is still within me that sometimes still rears her head, worried that she isn’t praying *right* and that God doesn't hear her. And while this is my own personal experience, I know from listening to others that experiences like this and fears of praying wrong and worries that God doesn’t hear them - these can be pretty universal experiences.
I read something this week that said trying to teach a human to pray the /right/ way is like an insomniac telling themselves over and over to just go to sleep. It doesn’t work.
“Teach us how to pray.”
While it is so human to ask that question there is also so much baggage wrapped up in the answers given.
Perhaps the best answer to that question goes back to the source. The answer that Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him to teach them how to pray.
“When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed by your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.
And do not bring us to the time of trial.”
And now, decades later and as a theologically trained pastor, I know how ridiculous that sounds and I have such pity and kindness toward my childhood self, toward that inner child that is still within me that sometimes still rears her head, worried that she isn’t praying *right* and that God doesn't hear her. And while this is my own personal experience, I know from listening to others that experiences like this and fears of praying wrong and worries that God doesn’t hear them - these can be pretty universal experiences.
I read something this week that said trying to teach a human to pray the /right/ way is like an insomniac telling themselves over and over to just go to sleep. It doesn’t work.
“Teach us how to pray.”
While it is so human to ask that question there is also so much baggage wrapped up in the answers given.
Perhaps the best answer to that question goes back to the source. The answer that Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him to teach them how to pray.
“When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed by your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.
And do not bring us to the time of trial.”
You’ve probably never heard that before, right? Nah, I’m kidding. Of course you have heard it! It is Luke’s version of what we call The Lord’s Prayer - the one we generally pray in church is more similar to Matthew’s version but the bones are there, nonetheless. For 2,000 years this prayer has been on the hearts and lips of Christians above all other prayers. And for good reason.
One of the staying powers of this prayer is that it recognizes God as our Father, our divine parent. And we’ll circle back around to this.
One of the staying powers of this prayer is that it recognizes God as our Father, our divine parent. And we’ll circle back around to this.
The second thing about it is it recognizes our very real needs and dependence upon God. It is very real, tied to our daily realities, human. One theological commentator on this text said, “It does not require of us that we become anything we are not already. It is a deeply human kind of prayer. It is a prayer for human beings, that is, for creatures in need.”
Think about the asks of this prayer:
Give us
Forgive us
Lead us
Deliver us
At the heart of this prayer that Jesus taught us are our very real needs: physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Prayers for food, for forgiveness which is necessary for relationship, and for safety and security.
This prayer is human, based in being human. It reminds me of what the spiritual writer Anne Lammot says. That she has 3 basic prayers, the first of which is “help me, help me, help me!!” The other two are “thanks” and “wow.” In fact, I’d venture to say that most of our prayers are just this “Help me, help me, help me.” Give me. Forgive me. Lead me. Deliver me.
Said just like that without the flowery liturgical language that we’re used to in The Lord’s Prayer - sounds pretty…pushy right? Maybe even rude?
Remember to WHO this prayer is being directed. You might think it’s even more rude when we’re talking to God the King, the Lord, the Creator of the Universe! Like, maybe we need to add some more “please”s in there and more praises first. How we’d usually ask for things from those in positions higher than us - nicely. But remember - this prayer is directed to our heavenly father, our loving parent. Does anyone here have young kids or remember what it was like to have young kids? I saw a Facebook post this week that was like, “My friend asked me what it was like to be a mother to a toddler so I hid her keys, headbutted her in the face, and then told her I love her more than the stars.” As a mother of an almost 2 year old, this really resonated with me. And my daughter is still learning words but has NO problem conveying what she wants and asking for what she wants. At meal times she points to the section of her plate that the food she is out of was and just points and yells until we get the message. More cheese!!!! It’s always more cheese. But it’s okay for her to ask us this way. She is a kid, a toddler, this is how she asks. She has no concept of please and thank you and flowery language. All she knows is that she is totally and utterly dependent on us as her parents for her needs. And that we love her. And if she needs something, we supply it for her. She needs food, relationship, safety and security. As her loving parent, we strive to give that to her.
How much more does our loving heavenly parent hear our prayers? Jesus says as much himself:
“Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish?
Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Jesus also gives another example of prayer - of the friend who comes to the door in the middle of the night and asks the other friend for help but at first the friend is like “uh, my kids are sleeping here.” But when asked again, answers. Now, there are a lot of ancient understandings of hospitality that we don’t necessarily adhere to today at work in that passage - but, what I want to bring to our attention is in the prayer before - the Lord’s prayer and in the example after, giving a child what they did - Jesus is the divine, loving parent. So too is Jesus in that middle example. Yes, Jesus can be the one granting our request as a friend….but Jesus is also the parent, in bed with his children for the night, tucked in tight, safe, secure, and loved.
“Teach us how to pray.”
So many of the answers to this question are based on getting prayer to “work.” But God is not a vending machine in the sky where if we put in the right prayer in the right way we get exactly what we ask for.
“Teach us how to pray.”
Jesus’s answer to this question is: God is your divine parent who loves you. Like a child to their parents, you are totally dependent on God. God will give you what you need - and what we need above all else is the loving presence of God. Ask God, talk to God, pray to God - do so as a sign of dependence and love. God answers and hears our prayers. It’s not that prayer “works” and it’s not that our prayers are always answered how we want them to be - but God answers our prayers in that God is always with us, always listening to us, and always loving us.
And so today, we will join our voices with Christians across the centuries and pray as Jesus taught us to pray.
Amen.
Think about the asks of this prayer:
Give us
Forgive us
Lead us
Deliver us
At the heart of this prayer that Jesus taught us are our very real needs: physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Prayers for food, for forgiveness which is necessary for relationship, and for safety and security.
This prayer is human, based in being human. It reminds me of what the spiritual writer Anne Lammot says. That she has 3 basic prayers, the first of which is “help me, help me, help me!!” The other two are “thanks” and “wow.” In fact, I’d venture to say that most of our prayers are just this “Help me, help me, help me.” Give me. Forgive me. Lead me. Deliver me.
Said just like that without the flowery liturgical language that we’re used to in The Lord’s Prayer - sounds pretty…pushy right? Maybe even rude?
Remember to WHO this prayer is being directed. You might think it’s even more rude when we’re talking to God the King, the Lord, the Creator of the Universe! Like, maybe we need to add some more “please”s in there and more praises first. How we’d usually ask for things from those in positions higher than us - nicely. But remember - this prayer is directed to our heavenly father, our loving parent. Does anyone here have young kids or remember what it was like to have young kids? I saw a Facebook post this week that was like, “My friend asked me what it was like to be a mother to a toddler so I hid her keys, headbutted her in the face, and then told her I love her more than the stars.” As a mother of an almost 2 year old, this really resonated with me. And my daughter is still learning words but has NO problem conveying what she wants and asking for what she wants. At meal times she points to the section of her plate that the food she is out of was and just points and yells until we get the message. More cheese!!!! It’s always more cheese. But it’s okay for her to ask us this way. She is a kid, a toddler, this is how she asks. She has no concept of please and thank you and flowery language. All she knows is that she is totally and utterly dependent on us as her parents for her needs. And that we love her. And if she needs something, we supply it for her. She needs food, relationship, safety and security. As her loving parent, we strive to give that to her.
How much more does our loving heavenly parent hear our prayers? Jesus says as much himself:
“Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish?
Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion?
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Jesus also gives another example of prayer - of the friend who comes to the door in the middle of the night and asks the other friend for help but at first the friend is like “uh, my kids are sleeping here.” But when asked again, answers. Now, there are a lot of ancient understandings of hospitality that we don’t necessarily adhere to today at work in that passage - but, what I want to bring to our attention is in the prayer before - the Lord’s prayer and in the example after, giving a child what they did - Jesus is the divine, loving parent. So too is Jesus in that middle example. Yes, Jesus can be the one granting our request as a friend….but Jesus is also the parent, in bed with his children for the night, tucked in tight, safe, secure, and loved.
“Teach us how to pray.”
So many of the answers to this question are based on getting prayer to “work.” But God is not a vending machine in the sky where if we put in the right prayer in the right way we get exactly what we ask for.
“Teach us how to pray.”
Jesus’s answer to this question is: God is your divine parent who loves you. Like a child to their parents, you are totally dependent on God. God will give you what you need - and what we need above all else is the loving presence of God. Ask God, talk to God, pray to God - do so as a sign of dependence and love. God answers and hears our prayers. It’s not that prayer “works” and it’s not that our prayers are always answered how we want them to be - but God answers our prayers in that God is always with us, always listening to us, and always loving us.
And so today, we will join our voices with Christians across the centuries and pray as Jesus taught us to pray.
Amen.
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